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And Put On The Full Armor Of God While You’re At It

June 7, 2009

I don’t know why so many people are upset that the New Bethel Church of Louisville, Kentucky is planning to hold an Open-Carry church service on June 27th. It’s the opening salvo of their Fourth of July festivities. America is all about God and Guns, so what’s the big deal? It’s not like any abortion doctors are expected to attend…

Look, the church is the perfect place for families to come packin’ heat. The God of the Old Testament was always running around smiting folks and ordering His flock to kill every man, woman and child that refused to bow down before Him. And His Only Begotten was no slouch in the kill-or-be-killed world of high spiritualism. He came not to bring peace, but a sword, remember?

Now, Pastor Ken’s flock will be worshipping the Almighty with patriotic music and a gun raffle. If Jesus had thought of that, instead of just overturning the tables of the moneychangers in His Father’s House, the Pharisees might not have been so pissed at Him. And if Our Lord and Savior had turned the water into tea, instead of wine, he might have even gotten King Herod’s gig.

Let us pray…

3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 8, 2009 1:17 am

    Great snark p of v.
    I’m sure you’re aware of Mark Twain’s “A War Prayer”?

  2. June 8, 2009 1:00 pm

    I LOVE Mark Twain! When the old guy shuffles to the front of the church and prays the second part, the logical conclusion of what the Pastor had prayed, and he was thought to be a lunatic. If I’m remembering it right.
    Anyway, Twain was the best!

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